You Want Me To Do WHAT?!

If you’ve haven’t noticed by now, I am fairly open when it comes to sex. What’s normal to me may not be normal to someone else, and just because I’m open to discussing it, it in no way means I’m open to try everything or that I sleep with anyone I can.

I used to host a sex talk show and whenever it comes up, I swear I can see the guy immediately start making a list of what he thinks I’ll say yes to. Have I had a lot of sex? Yes. Have I had many partners? I guess that depends on who you ask. However, I still expect to be treated with respect and there are some things I just won’t do. I’m not here on this earth for the simple purpose of bringing pleasure to whoever seeks it out.

Experimentation is the bedroom is great and I think everyone should try it, so long as you have a partner you trust and you both are okay with it. Consent is everything!

Now with online dating it seems that most guys ask what I will or won’t do before even determining whether or not they want to meet up. No big, I’ll just be here at home binging on Netflix in the meantime.

  • Anal. This is like the #1 request for most guys. Yes, I’ve tried it, yes I’ll probably do it again. Just probably not with you haha.
  • Threesome. Top #2 request. Two guys, most definitely. Two girls, only if she already prefers the company of women. If I’m going to be sleeping with two people at once I want to maximize pleasure. Pour moi, duh.
  • Double headed dildos. Sure why not, who am I to judge what you put inside your body.
  • Strap-ons. Fuck yes. As much as men demean women with their goddamn cocks in porn, you think I’m not going to take the first chance I get and do it to men too? I don’t care if it’s not real, you’re putting it in your mouth and you will enjoy it dammit!
  • Water sports. No thanks. Pass.
  • Bondage. I’ve tied a few guys up before so sure. Tie me up? Not unless I know I won’t end up in a trunk or on The First 48
  • Foot fetishes. Hmmm, I dunno. This one I’ll have to think about. Some guy recently asked if he could fuck me in the ass while I sucked on his toes. Fellas, some of you have some crusty ass feet. Scratching up against me during sex is one thing, but now you want me to voluntarily put it in my mouth and suck on it?! Check back with me later.
  • Milking. This is strictly for the dudes. It’s prostate stimulation and last I checked women don’t have prostates. This I don’t mind but again, depends on the partner. I’m not going up there if you had a beefy burrito for lunch.
  • Rimming. Receiving end? Sure, why not. Giving end, see above.
  • Sex in public. See Nature’s Bed Sheets.
  • Cum swapping. Instead of swallowing a dude’s load, I’d share it with him in a kiss. Hmm considering I swallow so I don’t have to keep it in my mouth longer than a millisecond, I don’t know about this one. Definitely not on my face or in my hair, but in a dudes mouth, hmm maybe.
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Categories: Sexcapades | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

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