No means no. Regardless of ANY situatuion, No means no. It isnt an invitation to try harder or a yes in disguise.
No fucking means no.
Tonight I went out, met a dude, made out with him and eventually headed back with him to the mens bathroom.
He tried to fuck me and because he didnt have a condom I said no. He tried to stick it in me anyway. I said no. He tried to put it in my ass, I said no. He did it anyway. Twice. Against my will.
Let me clear this up. ANY sex that is non consensual is rape. I DID NOT consent to anal sex, therefore it was rape. I dont care that I agreed to go to the bathroom with him in the first place, I have the right to say no if I want. And guess what, it still means no!
Forcefully having sex with a person is rape. Of course I tell someone who I think will have sympathy and their response, “oh lol that sucks, shouldnt have gone with him to the bathroom.” Fuck him and fuck society for imparting that reasoning on people.
I hope that the asshole that tried fucking me tonight rots in hell.
Ok, so the above post was written last night at 3:20 a.m. and I was still pretty pissed, understandably so. But now that I’ve had some time to cool off I just wanted to clarify some things. First off, I went out to a bar with friends and met a random guy there. It wasn’t a set-up date or anything, just some rando I started dancing with.
Yes, we made out. Yes, I suggested we go to the bathroom or outside. Did I think we were actually going to have sex? Yea, very likely. However, when we got to the bathroom stall I asked if he had a condom. STIs are gross and he could always have something more serious, he said no and that we didn’t need one because he didn’t have anything anyway.
I said no, we couldn’t fuck.
By this point my pants were already down and so when I started pulling them back up, he turned me around and forced himself on me anyway. I said no again. And in this whole exchange of force and nay saying he put his penis inside my ass, not once but twice, the second time forcing himself further inside me and holding me so I couldn’t pull away.
I finally managed to break free and gave him a piece of my mind and he pulled up his pants with an offended look on his face and walked out. Didn’t wait until I was fully dressed before opening the bathroom stall door. Didn’t say anything to me or look my way after that for the rest of the night.
I don’t care if I agreed to go to the bathroom with him, I have the right to change my mind. Again, I repeat, no means no. Any sex that is not consensual is rape. It doesn’t matter that it was a few minutes, that it wasn’t extremely violent or anything of that matter, it was against my will.
I know that every reader of this post is going to have different opinions and reactions, some even saying that I had it coming or that it wasn’t rape. Why? Because that’s the society we live in. We’re taught that people mean yes when they say no and it’s okay to force yourself on somebody that wanted it at some point.
I wrote this post, not because I want to play the victim or want attention, I wrote it because people don’t talk about things like this. It’s swept under the table. We’re taught to feel shame when something like rape or sexual assualt occurs and it’s not cool. I didn’t want to but this morning I told my sister the story, because it’s important for her to understand that no means no and that she has the right to change her mind and no one should EVER force her to do anything against her will. And if anything were to ever occur, she shouldn’t feel the need to cover it up.
Also, I don’t hope anyone rots in hell. I was obviously livid. I do however, hope he one days understands what no means.
4/27/14 12:01 p.m.