Annnnnnnnnnd I’m back

That only took a day or two.

Back on Tinder and back to my regular old self of not giving a fuuuuuuu. Not only am I back on Tinder but guess who I found? I found this dude, yes that guy, and I even agreed to see him again. Yes yes, I know what you’re thinking. But hey, I’m not taking a word he says serious. I figure I might as well get sooooomething out of this whole ordeal and yes I mean sex. Oh, and I also happened to bump into Romeo again too. And yes, I also agreed to see him too. I also need to collect some form of payment for being stood up. Pffffft don’t judge me. Ok, go ahead, I would too.

Some days, I just need to have options. Like a shit ton of options. Like options as backups for my options.

Screenshot_2014-05-14-12-37-11_1 (1)

So far I’ve only seen one dick pic.

But the face that it belonged to wasn’t so pretty so I blocked him. On kik and tinder. Who cares. I never agreed to send pic for pic so its not like I led him on. Shit, these days simply because I swiped right I’ve signed some imaginary agreement to show every dude my tits and ass. False. I made no such promise. These dudes can suck it. And by suck it I mean my imaginary dick. No way would I ever let them lay mouth to snatch. My vagina is far superior than any dick. If I had a penis I’d prob slap every dude across the face with it haha. Not because I think like most men that dicks are God gift to women, but because it’s funny that men place such high regard on some flesh that spends most of its day looking like a soggy banana.

Anywhoooooooo, back to the story at hand.

Men. Love em, can’t get enough of them. They’ve been my vice for years. I don’t take most serious, not because they’re not to be taken seriously but because I know that nothing will ever come out of our brief encounters. This is why I get extremely frustrated when I finally do take some serious, let them in a bit and then find out that they’re full of shit. What a waste of my time and effort lol. Yes, I know I can’t shut everyone out and that eventually I’ll have to let someone in or else how well I know that we’re extremely compatible and can stand each other for more than a few hours at a time. However, I can’t see that happening with anyone who tries to charm the pants off me by telling me how thick his cock is or how good he’s going to make my pussy feel.

Their words, not mine.

“Mom, how did you and Dad meet? How did you know he was the one?” 

“Well kids, once he told me he wanted to impregnate my ass I knew there would never be another man for me. I started to have my doubts after a few dates but then I came home to find he’d set up a tarp on the floor so he could try to piss on me. How considerate! I never looked back after that night.”

Uhm, hell to the no. It’s a double standard to expect men to take me seriously after I’ve slept with them right away but then not extend the same to them. Buuuuuuut I didn’t take them serious to begin with so the sex doesn’t add or subtract to that equation hahahaha.

Ok anyway, I’m off. Some Tindrfolk with broken English is trying to be cool and woo me. I’ll be polite and let him off easy.

Oh, and before you go off and say something not even remotely clever like “the thirst is real” uh, yea it sure as hell is, just not here. I’m not the thirsty one in these situations. I simply do whats been allowed of me to do. I’d never pursue a dude that wasn’t sexually interested and most of the time, see 99.9%, the only reason I even sext with these fools is because they can’t hold a decent conversation without it. Their lack of creativity and a brain, not mine.

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Categories: Just Because | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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