Sunday Bloody Sunday

I’ve always wondered what it was like to have period sex. Not because I’m interested in what it feels like to have sex while your vagina is bleeding but because I’ve wondered what kind of guy wouldn’t mind. One guy I used to date was always up for sex, bloody or not. I never took him up on his offer because duh.

I’ve also always wondered what it was like to have your cherry popped. Aka have your hymen tear and as a result, bleed a bit.

Well, thank you Universe because I no longer have to wonder about either of those situations.

I spent some time this weekend with The Contender.  I still am as unsure of what’s going on there as I was last week but at least now I can say I’ve definitely seen more to him.

I had agreed to sleep over Sunday night so it was only obvious we were going to have sex. I say that as matter-of-fact but honestly, up to that point we hadn’t so much as kissed so I wasn’t entirely sure. But we did so haha, I was right.

Because of all the uncertainty on my end with where this relationship was or wasn’t going, I was sorta hoping he’d be a bad lay or have some horrendous penis so that I could use that as an excuse as to not to have to talk to him anymore. That backfired on me real quick.

We had sex three times and I gave him the mother of all blow jobs. Like seriously, I actually had tears by the end of it. I outdid myself which was an incredibly hard thing to do.

Anywhoo, that’s not the point.

When I first saw his cock dick penis, I of course noticed its girth. What I failed to notice however is how this would measure up once inside me.

That moment at initial penetration is always a surprise. A bit more of a surprise than I was expecting but I thought nothing of it, so we continued.

The sex was amazing and then it was over. Wanting more, we dived right in to a second bout. Again, it was amazing.

This time however, I was brought out of my post coital stupor real quick at the utterance of two words, “You’re bleeding.”

Kill me now.

The only experiences I’ve had with bloody sex were early on in my sexual life, and they were both with the same guy, see: asshole, so needless to say they were negative and I’ve been scarred since.

I have no way to save face at this point so I quickly state that I’m probably still spotting because I just ended my period two days before. True. But why the hell would I be spotting TWO days after. One, maybe, but two? I checked the sheets and nada, phew safe!

He doesn’t seem at all fazed by any of it but I’m of course dying of embarrassmnet. Damn you body for turning against me!

Still thinking I’m spotting I go to the bathroom to clean up and notice that it’s not the usual dark, brownish hue  at the end of your period but vibrant, rich red. WTF, I’VE BEEN HIT! MAN DOWN!!

It’s not gushing out or anything so I think I’m ok.

We go to sleep, end of story.

Fast forward to about 4 a.m.

Who doesn’t like to wake up in the middle of the night for groggy sex?! Half the time I’m still dreaming haha but it’s still amazing just the same.

Again, amazing sex and again, blood.

Bright red fucking blood!

By this time I’m starting to wonder why the fuck of all nights my body has decided to shun me. Or maybe in some bizarre joke, the universe has decided to return my V card to me. At no point has it occurred to me that hey, maybe, just maybe, this guys dick is too wide for my fucking vagina!

Of course when I get back in bed he asks if Im still bleeding. Kinda ridiculous question to ask considering I’d just seen the bloodied condom in the bano. And so I tell him, “Uh, I think you’re too big for me.”

Pause here.

TOO BIG FOR ME.

Let that sink in guys, and I mean guys as in people with dicks not in general. As much as guys joke about this all the time in the hopes that their dicks are the biggest in the world, it is actually VERY possible for this to happen.

Apparently the guy thought I was stroking his ego. I like to think I’m nice, I’m not THAT nice lol.

Let me just clarify, I’ve had sex. Like a lot of fucking sex. With a lot of fucking people. NEVER in my life has this EVER happened to me. And I’ve even owned some pretty girthy toys.

Being so wide that you make your partners vagina bleed. That’s gonna be a hard one to top.

I’m guessing he’s never torn anyones vaginal tissues before either because he was just as surprised as I was.

I was kinda paranoid on the way home the next morning but of course I looked it up and it was exactly as I had thought. No worries there. The interwebz just says to lube up next time.

Yes, I said next. Did I stutter? I’d be a mad woman to not go back to that! Hahahaha don’t judge me.

Looks like I need to stock up on some KY.

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Categories: Sexcapades | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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