Fact. Cuddling is bad for you. Fact. I will avoid this shit like the plague. Fact. I gave in and now I’m fucked.
So I think it’s safe to assume that I’ve slept with a lot of people. Somewhere along the way, I managed to learn how to separate sex and emotion. Sex feels good for me physically, yet it does nothing for me emotionally. 99.9% of the time.
Because I don’t see sex as anything more than just a quick release, I don’t see the point in sticking around after. Seriously. The minute it’s over, I’m pulling my clothes back on and am heading out the door. The only times I’ve managed to stay is when I pass out after. That usually ends with me waking up at some god forsaken hour and getting the hell outta dodge. The latest I’ve ever made it home was around 7 am and I was serioulsy freaking out because I made it home after the sun was up lol. I like to take off anywhere between 4 and 6 a.m. or like I said, as soon as it’s over.
Some guys like to cuddle. Kudos. But honestly, there’s only been one guy I’ve made the exception for and stuck around but even then as soon as he’d pass out I’d leave.
Here’s the thing, I’m not some robot. I actually love the intimacy that comes with cuddling. I don’t however like being intimate with people I feel nothing for. It’s just awkward and forced and makes me really uncomfortable.
Yes I realize how ridiculous that is. Sure you can stick your dick in me but placing your arm around me is where I draw the line buddy!
So this weekend when I spent the night at (insert boys name here) house it was obvious that we’d be cuddling at some point. I like him, I’d like to continue dating him so naturally I don’t mind. I’m mentally prepared. So I think.
Again, the sex was amazing. Just all over satisfaction over every inch of my body.
Now comes after.
It’s been awhile since I’ve been in bed with someone I saw as more than just a means to an end. I had forgotten what it was like. My body however, soaked that shit right up. No matter how mentally prepared I was, it didn’t matter because my bodys needs took over. My body yearned to touch and to be touched in the most intimate of ways. I couldn’t keep my hands to myself. And I don’t mean sexually at all. I constantly was touching this body next to me.
His broad back, his round shoulders, his toned biceps, his fuzzy chest, his lightly sprinkled gray hair, his face, his soft lips, his strong thighs. All of it. I drank that shit up and boy was it good. The entire night I made it a point to have some sort of contact with his body. I couldn’t stop myself.
I realize that I’m fucked. I knew that within days of meeting this guy. I knew then that this guy was bad news for me and I know now just how bad.
Goodbye sanity, it’s been nice having you around.