I just spent the better half of my evening wallowing in sadness and crying.
Why, I dont know.
Dont feed me that bullshit of it having to do with my gender or mensies because its neither and it absolutrly drives me nuts to hear people regard women as nothing more than bleeding, emotional messes.
Ive been thinking about Carlsbad and the truth is I miss him. Or the idea of him. Whatever it was.
Im tired of jumping from bed to bed and from nameless face to nameless face. Ive been doing this for years and its disheartening.
Is my promiscuity going to lead me down a path of solitude for the rest of my life? The more time that passes and the more horrible dates I go on, I cant help but think that its near impossible. The odds of two people meeting and genuinely sharing the same interests and developing similar feelings toward each other sounds out of this world. This isnt The Hunger Games and the odds are definitely not in my favor.
Im not lonely but I just get tired of this lifestyle. How hard can it be to find someone?! Theres 7 billion people in this world and I cant even find one?! C’mon!
I know I should be patient… one day… one day… uggggggh Ill probably be dead before “one day” even rolls around.
Anywhoo. Ill end my rant here. No use in crying over spilled milk.