What’s your body type?

Real women have curves.

Bullshit.

Society has drilled this idea into our minds that a “real” woman has an hourglass shaped body.  Not because it makes her a better wife, not because it helps her with motherhood, and definitely not because it enables her to unlock all the secrets about being a woman. It just is more pleasing on the eyes to men.

All my life, I’ve been curvy. My hips, breasts, and ass all showed up around the same time and I was much too young to deal with it.

While society showcases women with curves as beautiful it then turns around and shames women for their sexualized bodies.

I remember being 9 and already having to deal with catcalls. The men on the street didnt recognize my prepubescent face as something that if they acted upon would lead them to years and years of prison but instead, they saw curves and assumed I was a woman. They assumed that because these curves were on display I was seeking out this attention and they were merely giving me what I desired.

Two decades later and I still feel the same thing I felt then: shame. I feel shamed for something I have absolutely no control over.

In the past couple of years Ive put on some weight and as a result, the catcalls have faded out. I still get them but not at all at the same frequency as before. Even with the extra weight, the curves are still there. And depending on what Im wearing, they are sometimes completely impossible to ignore.

While Ive been working on self acceptance and self love these past couple of years, I still admit that at times I feel that shame and because of it, I hate my body.

Thats a strong statement. Let me rephrase. I dobt hate my body. Curves aside, my body is a direct result of what Ive done to it. What I feed my body and how I take care of it is on display for everyone to view every single day. I cant hate something Im solely responsible for. What I do hate is how society makes me feel about my body.

I cant help the way clothes fits my body. I can wear the exact same sundress as another slightly less curvy woman. It can fit us loose in all the same areas. Yet what looks “cute” on her suddenly becomes “sensual” on me. Someone with absolutely no curves can wear something so short it just barely covers her underwear and its ok, yet I can wear something that goes to my knees and maybe just a bit snug, and all eyes are on me.

It could be that the woman without curves feels the same way but because Ive not been in her situation before, I wouldnt know.

In addition to going up a few sizes on my own, Ive recently began buying clothes a size bigger intentionally so that it wouldnt fit as snug. Nope, still hugs me the same way.

Last weekend I was actually scolded for dressing the way I do. I was told I was a bitch because I dressed that way on purpose just so I could get the attention and act like I was too good to talk to anyone.

Im sorry, what?!

Its been an ongoing struggle of mine recently as I try to dress appropriately without making it seem like Im asking for attention. Sorry people, but they dont make burlap sacks in my size.

I guess there really isnt a point to this post, I just needed to vent.

Society please stop hypersexualizing curvy women. My curves have no indication on my sex life (or lack thereof). Id really like to just dress however Id like without the horrible, dirty feeling of shame creeping all over my body.

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Categories: Just Because | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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