Posts Tagged With: relationships

And just like that, I lost

Never try to get involved with a guy who is recently single or has history with his ex.

You’re never going to win him over, no matter how authentic it seems.

The minute she comes back into the picture, he’s gone. No explanation, no note no sign that he was ever there to begin with.

I don’t blame the exes. Hell, I’d want someone to drop everything for me too. Just know, as an outsider, it’s not your place and no matter what you do, you’ll never win.

Categories: No Bueno | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Oxes and carts

I go through phases in which I want every guy in sight and then phases of being a hermit. It’s safe to say I’m currently going through the latter.

Spidey‘s back in town. Besides the initial post I made about him, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned him.

A few years back we had this weird pseudo relationship. It went on for about a year or so. I moved away but we kept talking and I’d see him whenever I was in town. This went on until he moved to another country. Two years ago. In those two years, I’ve probably exchanged hellos with him less than five times. We weren’t even FB friends anymore. No bad blood between us, we just had our own lives to live.

I kinda figured he’d be in town this summer and thought since I am currently unattached, I wouldn’t mind seeing him.

None of this is emotional.

The sex with Spidey was probably the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. We never did anything out of the ordinary and I’d say the majority of it was probably just standard ol’ missionary. But the chemistry between our bodies was insane. There was just this ridiculous passion and desire between us, we just had to have each other at that moment. He is also probably the only dude that has made me cum just about every single time. We had sex. A fuckload of sex. And I’d say the success rate was about 99.9%, there were only a few times where it was kinda lame, and I’d dare to say it was only about 3-4 times iiiiiif that.

Now that he’s back we’ve already gotten in touch and let it be known that we’re both down to go at it again. Hell, I’ve been thinking about him for at least the past month now wondering when he’d show back up. But now that I know he’s around, I’m not exactly jumping at the opportunity.

Of all the guys I’ve ever had in my life, I probably threw the most shit at this guy. And he was definitely the least deserving. The fact that he even talks to me still speaks volumes of him.

I first met this guy when I was 4. We were in kinder together, up until 3rd grade then he moved away. Thanks to Facebook we reconnected 17 years later. I moved away the following year, about 9 hours away, but I’d still see him every couple of months or so. Then, two years ago, he moved to China and that’s where he’ll be heading after his month here is up.

I say we had a pseudo relationship because never has a relationship been so much about the sex, yet not about it at all. God. Just writing about this dude is bringing up a bunch of stuff that I had forgotten about.


I’m gonna quit now while I’m still ahead.


Categories: Just Because | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

May the force be with you

Gonna hang out with Hans Solo again tonight. We were supposed to hang Tuesday but he passed out and I didnt wait around for sleeping beauty to wake up.

Im not sure about this one. He’s a wildcard. I should have a better idea after tonight I guess.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

I’m scared shitless

Oh my, what an interesting turn of events.

Just yesterday I posted about all the guys I was potentially dating. In the first guys description I said I would probably drop everything had he popped back up. I was joking. Not because I didnt mean it but because we weren’t talking anymore and him popping back up would be like me getting eaten by a dinosaur. It just wasnt going to happen.

If you’ve been following me for a bit or have suddenly binge read all my posts, you’ll see that I’ve talked about this guy in sevvvvvveral posts (The Contender, Sunday Bloody Sunday, something about me wanting to date him, and one about me telling him to fuck off).

From really early on, I liked this guy. Our first date only solidified these feelings. But in the months or so that we talked and hung out after, it was all over the place. Sometimes I wouldnt hear from him for days and other times it was nonstop. It was definitely the most confused I had ever been. I decided if I wanted to stay sane I had to cut him loose, so I did. I bid him adieu and blocked him on Tinder and Instagram, and I erased his phone number and all messages.

After about a week I unblocked him on Insta thinking a) he’d never notice he wasnt following me anymore and b)even if he did notice he wouldnt be dumb enough to follow me again. My profile isnt private so if he wanted to creep he could do so without me ever knowing.

But no.

Two nights ago I logged on and saw that not only had he started following me, he went and liked some of my pictures. For a second I was flattered but I quickly became upset. How dare he just fucking pop back up and leave proof that he had been visiting my page?! Couldn’t he just do it without letting me know?!

I was still pretty pissed about it yesterday so I went through my phone to see if I could somehow find his number. I then messaged him asking what the hell he was thinking.

I know this sounds a bit ridic considering its just another follower but it was about the principle. I had made it clear I was done with him so why come back?!

Of course, we then ended up texting for hours and hours.

I told him I was upset and I was done with him and all that jazz. What does he come back with? 

I wasn’t sure what u wanted.  U werent exactly very clear with me either. But I do like you and if it could work between us, I’d be stoked.

Cuz I started to miss you

I feel like u like to go out and date and have fun and even if I tried to make it work, you’d still want to keep doing that.

I wanna try

That and a whole lot of other stuff. How is he going to pop back up and drop a load on me like that?! I’ve been dating, I’ve been thinking about him less, I havent reached out to him. Why now?! Why at all??!?!?!

I thought about it all day.

I’m STILL thinking about it now but what’s done is done.

I told him ok, I said he could try.

I know some of you may not agree with me. Hell, I know none of my friends or family would even agree with me. I’ve already been hurt because of all the confusion with this guy and all the yo-yo’ing. I’ve already moved on and started seeing other people, people who probably already think we’re officially dating.

But at the end of the day, he’s still the guy I think about and the one I want to be with. I know I’m probably setting myself up to get hurt but I have to try.

The whole point of me trying online dating is so I could find someone to date. I found someone I genuinely like and Im supposed to place him aside for a safer bet?

It sucks, it really does. This can go either way but I wont know unless I try.

I’m not holding my breath or getting my hopes up, I’m just gonna sit back and let things unfold on their own.

As it is I’m always pretty skeptical and a bit removed. Now in this case I feel like I have to be extra cautious. I’m scared shitless. Just thinking about it makes my throat close up.

I’m hoping it all works out but even if it doesn’t, I can always go back on Tinder or OkC and at least I’ll be able to say, I tried.

Categories: Just Because | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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